Tanner Kay

Where can I find you at? 
Instagram, Facebook, 
Twitter. Oh, Snapchat! 
You know, I just mistook 
 
your open-mouthed Ahh . . .
for a lack of connection, 
assuming that’s a hard “Naa”
on having social media relations.

Wow, you must feel lonely 
sometimes. I bet that’s, like, 
severely hard to be
even a little psyched 

when your friends get dogs.
I bet you never see 
Insta-puppies! I always applaud 
your type, but me, 

I couldn’t do it.
I’d just get so bored 
in class! I’d be a bit 
weird, and awkward, 
 
whenever my friends
and I are together;
those silences would trend 
towards, like, talking or whatever. 
 
That’s what Snapchat is for, 
filling that quiet
that you just can’t ignore. 
Okay, you have to let 
 
me help those, um, instincts 
of yours. With clothes.
Those shoes have been extinct 
for awhile. But who knows, 
 
pink could be back
by the fall. I’ll keep
you updated, on track,
so that you’re not knee-deep 
 
in outfit subtweets.
Poor thing! You can’t even
be subtweeted! It’s kinda sweet, 
when people have a reason 
 
to be jealous or angry
for something you have or do, 
so bad they feel the need
to go and tattoo 
 
their page with stuff
about you. It’s flattering,
but it can get rough.
I have, if you will, an un-following, 
 
but I don’t get unfriended, 
which, I’d actually prefer
to defer to a loss of a like, when 
a favorite is concerned. 
 
Speaking of favorites,
go get a Twitter.
I’m tweeting this convo. Savor it! 
First known subtweet, for the girl 
 
in yellow. Jules, right?
Oh, sorry. I’m bad with 
phonetics. Alright,
Zoe, you’ve just had a whiff 

of the land of popularity!
Welcome. I’d say, “Welcome, my friend,” 
but you haven’t Facebooked me, 
and — aww, Tash got a poodle again!